02 December 2008

Love & Pain welcomed

Today I am posting first of all nearly the whole post of "All or No one" from Nakedpastor David Hayward. He is first writing about their daughter, then about himself and his wife.

"She is 16 and loves depth in relationships. She isn’t into superficiality, but appreciates relationships that are deep and meaningful. She’s experienced pain as a result of this because it means she invests in relationships, only to have them sometimes get broken. It’s like a piece of your heart gets amputated. It means saying goodbye. It means losing someone you love. It means going through a kind of grieving process. Love hurts.

...We knew it would be a more painful way to live because we already knew that some relationships aren’t forever. But we also suspected that it would be a more fulfilling and happy life because we would experience what it meant to truly love and be loved.

So the...strategy of distance ..... It is not a positive method for positive results but a coping and defense mechanism against pain which is guaranteed in this line of work. To close your heart to love and being loved is a way to live a protected life. But life in this kind of bubble is soul-killing. And you can’t be discriminate. Either your heart loves or it doesn’t. ...I will either love and be loved completely or I won’t at all.

Jesus didn’t love cautiously. And he died for it."

It was just so good I have nearly re-posted most of it. It really is all or nothing. That last sentence made me think of something else also - the fact that Jesus came down from all glory and splendour, from Heaven to us.. You can imagine someone who is the richest of rich, the King, imagine Buckingham Palace, the Swedish Royal Family, Monaco.. (ok, well, none of them really reach it but you get the image!) and yet He chose to come down here, this messy and dirty place and into our messy lives to dine with us. He stepped down from Heaven..to be with us. Not to quick-fix us. I mean of course - He did do miracles and heal people on an instant. But I'm sure He wanted to give all those people a lot more. I think the emphasis is much more on the Journey He did with the Disciples, how He spent those years with them. He was with them. And any man or person He met He was there, present. Which made me also think of another great post I very recently read, by Kathy Escobar:

What could be: pain welcomed.

Read it - it's one of the best reads you will do for awhile!! I think if we weren't so scared of pain, we'd enter and be present in other people's painful situations as well. But like in everything - it starts within ourselves. But I do think Jesus isn't scared of our messy situations or for it being messy around us - at all. Because the fact is - without Him I can't even do the clean up.

On a final note, since I've been speaking about pain and messyness and entering into other people's pain I have to hail my mum this week! She has been helping out a friend, who's had a really difficult time for over a year. (She is a lovely lovely person by the way - this friend of my mum's) My mum's been there for her a lot throughout the whole year. This week she is helping her by cleaning her house with her, and baking and other preparations needed for this friend's daughter's graduation party. (way to go mum.. i think she's giving me good example :)) Another story is of a time when someone who is dear to me was going through a separation, and a good friend of her's just came round one time and said: "I have come to do your ironing for you". This dear person has quite a few children, and it was of huge help at the time. (And they were close enough for this friend to come over to do this kind of thing that was needed.)

Like in the cartoon post recently, I just think being involved in people's (friends') life like this makes our lives richer. Close and deep relationships. Helping out when it's needed. And it goes the other way round too. Living together and sharing life. For better for worse...

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