It is mother's day today. I read this and this post, and thought I'd post a few thoughts. First of all just a few things I am thankful for to my own mum.
1) I think I was read a bed time story every night until I went to school (at seven years in Finland) - maybe even after that. I treasure these times and they are part of my favourite childhood memories. (Also times at my grandparents house in the country and all those times playing in the woods..) I remember a lot of story telling. I preferred mum reading - she was better at it than my dad. Maybe she was present more, and more into the whole story-telling. But my love for books, reading and stories probably come from here. And I also remember hearing of some research that accounts development of intellect and doing well at school for bed times stories (or reading to kids). I totally think my doing well at school owes a lot to all the stories and reading! :D It was my favourite part of the day, and I think that is why I also still treasure bed times with kids - it is special and important to me. I feel I can give so much to a child at that moment, and it's a quiet quality time together. I've taken this tradition on. Most especially I did so with my little sister ( who is 12 years my junior) - and all the children I have looked after.
I think it is important every day to be present for a moment to/with your child. Be present.
2) Big family. We spent Christmas together with all my mum's siblings, that is my aunts and uncles, and their respective families (I have 13 cousins) until I was 13 or 14. We were like one big family. I still feel from some of my cousins as if they were my siblings. And I feel like an auntie to their kids. They feel close to me, even if it has been awhile.
3) I got to be a princess when I was little. My mum valued (and still does) all things feminine and beautiful. So I've never had to deny this from myself. We always dressed up for parties. My mum usually had a party dress made for herself, and I often got the same one just smaller in size. I especially remember this yellow skirt and "blazer" of sorts that I had a mini-version off... You'd call that yellow fabric curtains these days.. hehe... But yes, we dressed up, looking nice was allowed. I learned that I was allowed to look beautiful and nice. Wear make-up if I wanted. I got to be a girl and a woman. I don't feel like I missed out on anything here (some friends have).
4) Friends are important. My mum has always had (girl) friends! And kept in touch with them. And also with our big family. Keeping in touch with people is important, outside your own family too.
5) I was encouraged to study and when I wanted to do so myself, go abroad. My mum never tried to make me stay in our small home town. Or to keep me there. I was allowed to leave.
Just a few things here...
I'm 31, and I don't have children of my own. But I don't feel like I have been left out on this motherhood thing at all. There has been plenty of mothering that I have gotten to do in my life. I'm thankful for that. I am so so glad I don't feel left out here! I have friends who have felt left out until they had their own kids. Thankful for the ways God has lead my life here. Partly I had to grow up early - but it's been all worth it, or well, just the way my life has been. I cannot imagine it any other way now. Or how I would have been without.
A few years ago one of my cousin's kids brought me a bouquest of flowers he had picked on mother's day. It was SO sweet. Broke my heart, in a good way :) I'll always remember, and treasure it. This same boy, when he was three (back in 2005), took me by the hand as we were going to a relative's wedding party, and said "I'm hungry" - then we searched for food :) we weren't that close then, and his parents were amazed that he trusted me like that, as he wasn't usually like that with people :)
God is Good and He loves us.
PS. Also this mother's day, we went to visit my my grandmother's grave (mum wanted to). Always when I go there, I go and visit my brother's grave as well... how I still miss him. It is weird, nearly five years, and the missing is a tangible feeling. Still wishing he was here. Will this ever go away?
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